The Forgetten Survivor
by 3cheers4theblackparadekilljoys
Summary: So do you guys remember Johanna? She was in the first season, died from drowning. Boone went to rescue her but was drowning as well, so Jack came to the rescue and saved Boone but not Johanna. Now do you remember? Here is the story she never got...
1. The Dream

_Water rushed into her lungs, making them feel as if a steady stream of fire was burning inside them, threatening to stay there until her lungs burned away into nothing. Her eyes stung from the salt water as she flailed her arms as high and as fast as she possibly could, desperately trying to stay afloat, but the current was too strong. Her arms and legs ached but she didn't stop, fearing that the minute she did, the current, seeming to have a life of its own, would drag her so far down, she would never seen the sunlight again. Snapping her head to the left and the right, she saw nothing but the endless stretch of ocean. Up ahead of her, though, she saw the beach. She could still smell the smoke, hear the screams, see the bodies that surrounded everyone, constantly reminding those on the beach that they were the survivors. She faintly heard a man calling after her from the shore. Turning her head she saw him take off his shirt and run head on into the ocean, expertly swimming against the waves towards her. Expertly, as if he had done this many times before. Then it came to her. Boone, who had told her just a few hours ago that he used to be a lifeguard, was swimming towards her, but then stopped and started to get pulled under by the current as well. Her only lifeline was drowning along with her. That was when she saw a dark shadow moving from the shore. Her vision was darkening and she starting to think that she was seeing death, who was lurking around her form the shore, almost taunting her because she was the one drowning, while he was watching in the safety of land. The figure became clearer for a second while he was running towards the water, shocked and conflicted on who he was going to save. She wasn't stupid, she knew Jack Shepard had only one chance to save one person, not the both of them, and she was already dying so saving her would be pointless. She was right, Jack made his decision and went after Boone, bringing him towards land while he desperately looked back at her. Boone made it to shore and she saw him yell at Jack, survivor's guilt maybe?, and storm off before she gave one last whimper and everything went black. _


	2. An Unexpected Journey

Johanna woke up to the rustling of leaves from the jungle to her left. Her forehead was plastered with sweat and her hands were clammy and clenched into fists so tight that her knuckles were white and her nails left deep impressions on the inside of her hands. The morning sun was already blazing, signaling the start of a new day on this god-forsaken island. It was four days since the plane crashed, and two days since she believed rescue was coming. So far during those four days, only a handful of people gave her the time of day, figuratively speaking.  
>Not Jack, the rising leader; he was too busy to worry about one of the few survivors who made it out of the crash with nothing more than a few scratches. He was more focused on the people who were dying, whose broken bodies were screaming out to be fixed. Well, those people and Kate. Johanna was not as ambitious as Kate, or as headstrong. She was perfectly fine minding her own business and staying out of everyone's way; which was exactly what she did. But she will never forget those endless minutes that passed as Oceanic Flight 815 soared through the sky. She was still able to picture that exact day. The vision was burned into her skull and had haunted her sleep ever since. It was as if she was strapped down onto a chair and forced to watch the same horror movie that was her life over and over again, in an endless loop.<br>Johanna remembered sitting in seat A13, slowly catching up on sleep she had well past deserved, looking over to the man sitting next to her.  
>"What made you come to Sydney?" he asked. Johanna turned her head. The man looked oddly familiar, like she saw him somewhere before but couldn't put her finger on it. His hands were shaking, making light tapping noises as his silver ring with the initials DS hit the chair handle. She briefly wondered what the DS stood for, maybe a girlfriend? His bloodshot eyes were darting from Johanna to the bathroom, as if he really didn't care about what Johanna had to say, as if he was more interested in the bathroom than her. <em>Then why did you even ask me a question you have no interest in hearing?<em> When Johanna opened her mouth to respond, he muttered an "excuse me" and ran out of his chair, through the aisle, making his way toward the back of the plane, towards the bathroom. _Great_, she though, _It is just my luck to spend the long hours on this plane sitting next to some junkie who can't even carry a whole conversation without getting a fix. _She turned back into her seat when she felt her stomach rise to her throat. For a minute she thought it was just her, but then it was as if the plane just stopped, hovered in the air for a few seconds, then plunged downwards. Screams were everywhere and the flight attendants were calming those who were panicking, but failing miserably. Safety masks were released from whatever compartment they were hidden in above every seat and Johanna made sure hers was on. She remembered tears filling her eyes as she thought she would die right there. But was that karma? She deserved to die after what had happened. She had to pay for what she had done.The whole back of the plane ripped off, sending those who had fallen out of their chairs out of the plane and one large gust of air. _This can't be happening,_ Johanna thought. But it was happening._ Screech! _Just as quick as the back part of the plane, the front of the plane ripped apart as well, sending another round of people sailing into a vortex of forceful winds that would lead to their demise. She thought that she was going to see her life flash before her eyes; but instead the only thing she saw was pillars of smoke and trees, sand and water, coming closer and closer and getting bigger and bigger by the second. But she, in fact, was wrong. Johanna was very much alive, and was about to witness one of the most disturbing events to come.


	3. Road to Nowhere

"Look Donna, I'm sorry but I just can't. I don't have the time! I have a business meeting on Tuesday in Sydney, Australia. I am on my way to the airport now." Johanna made a left onto an empty street, making her way towards LAX. She would _not _miss this meeting, her first business meeting that could make her or break her, depending if she showed up or not. So Donna would have to understand her lack of focus or motivation towards going to her friend's annual animal fundraiser. Johanna's eyes blurred from exhaustion as she was focusing on the hypnotic road before her, just driving, driving, driving, making small conversation with Donna to pass the time, to keep her from falling asleep, when a small dark shadow passed in front of her car. Johanna pounded against the brake and the car stopped and Johanna was thrown full throttle against the car seat. It took her a minute until all of the shock drained out of her. The right corner of her car windshield was filled with tiny little cracks that came together, looking almost like a spider's web, etched into the glass. Looking around she didn't see a tree or any other object she could have hit. Putting her hand to her forehead, she felt no blood, and never remembered hitting her head. _So how on Earth was the windshield destroyed?_ A small whimper from up ahead caught Johanna's attention and dreading the worst, she made her way over to the small heap a few feet ahead of the car. Her legs felt like lead blocks as she made her way over to the heap, which turned out to be the body of a small boy. His blue eyed shined bright in front of her. "Please," he said, "Please, help me..." She was frozen, could not move. The boy looked as if he was drifting in and out of consciousness, mumbling the same word over and over again, like it was the one word that would soothe him in his current state. Johanna looked harder at the boy, seeing that there was a large gash across his stomach, and he was filled in his own blood. This boy would never make it to the hospital alive, won't even stay alive until the ambulance came, and then what? Johanna will have his blood on her hands and she just couldn't deal with that. She deal with the punishments, the look of horror and fury the boys family would give her when they found out she was the one. The one who took away their child's life, took away his innocence, and her own life would be destroyed, forever labeled as the woman responsible for the death of small, not even a 9 year old boy. It was this insane logic that made Johanna get up, run to her car, and drive away as fast as she can, leaving the boy and his pain behind her, replacing it with the most unbearable amount of guilt that would haunt her for the rest of her life, remembering the boy's final words to her, "Please, don't leave me, _Help_."


	4. Dude

"Could you give me some help?" A large man with long, curly hair was walking towards Johanna, arms stuffed with packages upon packages of what looked like to be airplane food. The man trudged on through the sand towards her looking up at her once he reached her, then looking back down, sheepishly.  
>"I'm not like, a doctor or whatever like that dude Jack is, but I thought I would help everyone out as much as I could, so I am collecting all of the food from the wreckage and then going to hand them out to all of the survivors."<br>"Oh, wow, ok. Here, let me give you a hand with that," Johanna grasped the packages that were under one of the man's arms, watching the relief that came across his face now that he had a lighter load in his arms. Putting this load under her own arms, Johanna made her way towards some of the wreckage near them, looking for more packages, food or drinks that had yet to be collected.  
>"Thanks for the extra pair of hands, dude" Johanna opened her mouth to respond but just as quickly as he ended the conversation, he started a new one all over again- "I had this dream once, where like, I had 6 arms and-"<br>"You know, the sooner we find all of the food, the quicker we can hand it out to survivors. I don't know about you but I am pretty hungry and want to eat as soon as possible." And just like that the conversation ended again. And for the next three hours that was how the time was spent, quietly looking for supplies while Hurley, whose name is really Hugo but is nicknamed Hurley for reasons he did not want to share, blurted out what seemed to just cross his mind. These comments ranged from dreams he had, his top 10 comics he liked to read, which turned into a debate with himself, while Johanna continued looking. She didn't mind this, though, because it gave her time to mentally escape and think other things through. Survivors had had mixed reactions about crashing, many scared, others angry and frustrated, and some where in an endless state of shock, but Johanna was content. She deserved this; this was time for justice to be served. She felt as if this was right, was meant to be, as if she was repaying Matthew's family for their loss, even though they would never know what she was doing. Her mind entertained more questions about Matthew's family. Had they ever discovered that it was her who caused her son's demise? What would they think of her, of what she had done? But most importantly, would this be enough, being stuck on this island for god knows how long with no way of communicating with the outside world, only waiting, wondering if anybody will ever come, or if you will spend the rest of the days until you die here? A sound came from behind Johanna, making her stop in front of two broken off airplane seats sitting askew in the sand, each blue seat smudged with back ash. Hurley, who seemed to be talking again, rammed into her, looking up then saying, "What's up? Why did you stop?"  
>"Did you hear that?" She looked towards the source of the noise, which was in the vast jungle by them, tall green trees rustling in the wind. "I though I heard something," she said, still looking at the jungle, "Didn't you hear that?"<br>"Umm no I didn't hear anything, dude." Just then a large black smoke moved up above some of the trees before moving back down, once again lost in the bowels of the jungle.  
>"Did you see that?!" Johanna spun around to Hurley, who just looked at her with a mixture of fear and confusion on his face, which was enough to tell her what his answer to her question would have been.<br>"Duuude, maybe you should, like, lie down or something, or, like, talk to Jack, see if you're not dehydrated or any-"  
>"I'm not dehydrated! I just saw..." What did she see, black smoke that just flew into the air and back into the jungle abyss? That was crazy. "You know what, you're right, I think I am a little dehydrated. Do you mind if I just lie back down?"<br>"Sure, man, I can hand out the packages tonight, thanks for the help...You know, you remind me a person I used to know-" But Johanna never found out about that person because by then, she was already halfway back to her small tent she set up from the wreckage, avoiding looking over towards the jungle the whole way back. The jungle brought chills down her spine, as if the black smoke was hiding in there, watching her every move, her fear, and enjoying it. 


	5. Point of No Return

Drive. That was the only thing on her mind now. Drive and forget about the past, drive and leave everything else behind you. When finally making it to LAX, Johanna knew her flight had already left, but that didn't stop her from getting frustrated and taking it out on anybody that worked there. "I'm sorry, but you are just going to have to wait until our next flight tomorrow on Oceanic Flight 815." Tired as ever, Johanna sat down in one of the benches near her and fell asleep, not waking up until a few hours later. _Please, don't leave me, you have to help. _She sat up, looking up to her right at a nearby TV. There was a mourning family surrounded by a casket with a picture of a small boy to the left of the basket. Her blood ran cold. She remembered seeing those same baby blue eyes. Then the reporter spoke.  
>"Here with me is a family of four, sitting at their 8 year old son, Matthew's, funeral. Matthew was involved in a hit and run last night at around 8:15. He was walking home from his friend's house when a car rammed into him, critically injuring the boy. The driver left the boy lying on the road where a young couple driving down the street a few hours later found him, immediately calling 911, but it was already to late. Matthew's family and friends are now mourning their loss, including 16 and 23 year old sisters Abby and Martha, mother Rose and father David -" Johanna turned her attention away from the screen, unsuccessfully trying to block out as much of the guilt as she could. The boy had died and it was Johanna's fault. "Now boarding Oceanic Flight 815. Oceanic Flight 815 is ready for boarding." At that, Johanna got up and walked over towards her flight, leaving the TV screen behind her. <p>


	6. What is and What Could Have Been

"Looks like I'm not the only one who likes to take a morning swim!" Johanna felt the warm, salty water blanketing her skin, forming bubbles and sea foam as she brought her arms up in the air, and back down in circular motions. Hearing a man's voice, she looked up. "What? Oh, well, we're stuck on this island for god knows how long, might as well enjoy the small blessings. This water is amazing!" she said. The man laughed, turning serious in the next second "Yeah, my sister is dead set on waiting for the rescue boats, but to be honest, I don't think they will be coming." Johanna made her way out of the ocean water, goose bumps now forming as the wind whipped back and forth around her.  
>"Your sister?" Johanna vaguely remembered seeing him with a girl. To be honest, though, she thought she was his girlfriend. She emanated a snobbish and jealous girlfriend aura about her. As if she was better than everyone else here, knew more than everyone else here and had no problem treating everyone, especially her brother, with no respect because of it.<br>"Shannon, also known as the girl would rather work on her tan line than help clean up the wreckage, salvage food and clothes or create shelter." He talked about her with such weariness and frustration mixed with love and longing, making Johanna's heart ache. It was amazing how he could still love his sister despite the way she treats him. No longer having any idea what to say to this, she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.  
>"She sounds like a handful, and that is putting it extremely lightly." The man chuckled and looked towards the ocean. From her angle, the sun was shining behind him, creating a halo of light around his head. Looking at the man she saw that he was a fairly good looking man, with medium length brown hair that was able to withstand the islands every attempt to mess it up, whether it was the humid air or wind blowing, his hair still stayed perfect. His face held delicate facial features, his small mouth curved into a smile and his warm brown eyes were scanning the ripples in the ocean.<br>"You have no idea. I actually came down hear to fish. Might as well start the day helping out and finding food." Looking down from his face Johanna saw that he did, in fact, come with a large net in his hands. She started making her way back to the salty ocean water.  
>"So I take it you are not going to come into the water, then." He chuckled once again.<br>"Sorry, but the Queen Shannon wants to have fish for dinner, and as you may know, her wish is my command," he commented snidely while sarcastically bowing, as if Shannon was there in front of him now, "If you start drowning though, I will have no choice but to fulfill my lifeguard duties and go into the water to save you. " he smirked, grabbing his gear and perching himself on a nearby rock, spreading out his fishing net.  
>"Lifeguard, huh? Interesting..." Johanna turned back towards the water, "My name's Johanna, by the way." The man stuck out his hand and waved while smiling to her.<br>"Boone. By the way, I would get out of the water soon if I were you, just to stay safe. The current looks like it is getting to be really strong." Focusing her attention back onto her swimming, Johanna plunged her whole body into the water again, moving her arms back into a circular motion, kicking her legs back and forth.


	7. A Life for a Life

Rising back up to the surface, Johanna heard another noise. She looked back and forth quickly, scanning the vast ocean around her, but heard nothing. She looked over at Boone, who had fallen asleep on the rocks.  
>"Help!" she heard a scream. Again Johanna looked around, but, again, saw nothing.<br>"Hello?! Is anyone there? Boone?" She looked around but Boone was gone. Creeped out, Johanna began swimming back to the shore, ready to leave and call this her mind hallucinating. Maybe Jack would find something to help her.  
>"Somebody help me!" Johanna looked behind her, seeing the same baby blue eyes that haunted her for years. "Please help me! You can't leave me!"<br>It wasn't possible, it just wasn't possible. He was dead, she was sure of it. But was she? For all she knew, that boy could have survived. He could have lived his life again, he could even be sitting on this plane!  
>"You can't leave me!" The boy was shouting. He was drowning, poor Matthew was drowning and she was sitting there, watching him die all over again. Then he spoke one last time, breaking her out of her reverie, her self-pity, guilt and doubts of his actual existence.<br>"You can't leave me again, Johanna! You already left me once, you can't leave me again! I know it!" And he was right. Physically all she had to do was keep on swimming in the opposite direction. Just keep swimming and eventually this hallucination will disappear, or if he is really there, he will sink under the water, and nobody would know he even existed. He would be the forgotten survivor, barely a whisper in her mind, nonexistent in others' minds. But he was right. _You can't leave me again!_ Mentally, emotionally, she could not do it, could not let this boy die again. Could not feel emptiness and alone because she once again avoided the situation, and made that young boy pay the price.  
>"Dammit!" She turned back towards the drowning boy and made her way towards him, not looking up until she knew she was near him again. She looked up, but the boy was gone. Johanna threw her fist in the water, screaming out of frustration. Either he had died again because of her, or her mind made all of it up.<br>"You're too late." She spun around and saw the boy again, but he was fine, floating in the water as if he was a vacationer at the beach basking in the sun. He looked upon her one last time and smiled. The smile unhinged her, it was chilling and not human. His eyes were turning red and his skin black, his body then started to turn to smoke until a large black smoke hovered over her and then the water pulled her down, and the nightmares that have haunted her dreams became her reality. Death's grip grew tighter and tighter around her throat, and Johanna's life flashed before her eyes. Who would remember her? Who would care about her death? And then it came to Johanna. Matthew was never the forgotten survivor, it was Johanna.


End file.
